Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Our Busy Bee

By the time Emme could crawl she has been a mover and a shaker. We realized early on that she was busier than most kids. We didn't really worry because she was so little and some kids are just busier than others.

When she starting walking our lives turned into a constant chase. We baby proofed our house more and more as she grew, but going to others houses was usually pure chaos (still is) as they were not "Emme" proofed.

We read books on disciplining toddlers and very little stuck with her. It was almost like the choice was never hers to hold still or obey. She had this constant need to touch and put everything in her mouth. Her shirts were/are always soaked in drool and we sensed it had nothing to do with teeth. She's always been rough with other kids and animals and even herself. The list goes on and on.

It didn't take much for me to start feeling little impressions that Emme had some differences from most kids her age. I started to vocalize to other people to see if what Emme was doing was normal and the biggest answer I got was "that's a two year old for you." Most considered me a first time mom that didn't realize how hard raising a toddler is or one of those crazy moms that make up invisible sicknesses for their kids. Some were understanding, but knew as little as I did so we were at a loss together.

Eventually, bad turned to worse and there were some incidences that happened that I could no longer deny something was wrong. I called a friend whose son has ADHD. We had a long great talk and she discussed how I could get help. I called my pediatrician and I could tell the secretary thought I was absolutely NUTSO for thinking my two year had ADHD. They were THREE months booked out. I wanted to cry. Plus, I thought maybe I WAS crazy, maybe I just wasn't cut out to be a mom, maybe I wasn't trying hard enough to discipline her, maybe her pediatrician isn't going to believe me and think I'm the worst mom ever because I can't control my two year old. You get the idea. Doubt was my best friend and failure was my only thought.

One particular bad day Emme was completely out of control. Even though I was two steps behind her she was into everything and breaking whatever she could. I couldn't keep up with her. About the time she was ripping up my sheet music and I started to bawl. I could tell in Emme's eyes she couldn't control herself which made me bawl harder. I decided to take matters into my own hands. A friend had a daughter in an early intervention school as a non-delayed student and she had told me that a lot of kids there were like Emme. I got the phone number and called. The lady on the phone was the most nicest understanding person I've ever come across. I cried so hard I could barely get my words out. She was the first person to act like I wasn't a spazoid and was there to help. Someone could really help my child! There was hope. She was in the wrong school district so she got me all the info I needed, but told me she would help if Emme wasn't approved of early intervention services. I was an emotional wreck and embarrassed of my blubbery phone call so I waited until the next day to call the right school. I found out later that the lady I talked to cried for ten minutes after our phone call because she felt so bad for me. Either she literally is the nicest person ever or I was really that pathetic. I think it was both.

The next day I called the right school and a few days later someone called me to schedule an evaluation and go over my concerns. They were a few months booked out, but still sooner than my pediatrician so I felt I had gotten somewhere.

...Story continued another day...

**We love our little Emme. She is vibrant, happy, outgoing, funny, and just plain darling. We are blessed to have her and would never change a thing. I never want her to be known as a bad kid or for people to think that we aren't more than thrilled she is our little girl. Anyone who has met her can see how intelligent and amazing she is. This is not me complaining about her or venting my feelings as a mom. This is me telling our story so if others are experiencing what we are they know how to find help.

3 comments:

Kimberly said...

Oh Lacey :: what an amazing mother you are!! Isn't being a mom just plain hard sometimes [yes, full of too many joyful moments to count, but still ... hardest job e.v.e.r] I love the honesty of your last two posts. I needed to read them. I'm eager to read the rest of this story! Sure love you lots.

Sharee said...

Wow - Being a mom is such a rollercoaster. It sounds like you are on top of everything. You truly are an amazing mom (and writer). I can't get over how the lady you spoke with cried after the phone call. She must've really felt your pain, that's incredible. Thanks for sharing - I too am anxious to hear the rest of the story. Best of luck these next few months as you search for answers.

Rachel said...

You are an amazing mother!! I really admire you. Thank you for sharing this experience!

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