Our Busy Bee Take Two

While waiting impatiently for Emme's appointment I began researching like a crazy person. I started coming across links and articles about sensory disorders. The symptoms fit Emme to a T. It was apparent Emme did not have ADHD, but she could have a sensory disorder that is easily confused for it.

I learned the the difference between hypo-sensitive and hypersensitive. Emme fit the hypo signs which can include: hyperactivity, high tolerance to pain, drooling, touching/slamming into everything, and eating inedible objects.

Emme had her first evaluation in January. She passed all their tests with flying colors. In fact the evaluator had to take a moment to figure out what to test her on next because she had never gotten so far before. They didn't bring an occupational therapist with them or do any testing for sensory issues so we had to set up a another evaluation the next week.

During the second part of Emme's eval, I filled out a questionnaire while they played with Emme. She loved the attention, but got easily bored with their games and kept trying to get in their papers and bags instead. It was pretty easy to see her attention span was about zero. The OT explained that Emme has some severe sensory issues and they suggested we set up an eval through Primary Children's Hospital and also through the Children's Center which deals more with behavioral issues.

That same day was our appointment with Emme's pediatrician. I was so scared she would tell me I was being a crazy mom, but she did the exact opposite. She agreed that Emme was showing behavior that was not appropriate at her age and validated that we were doing the right thing. She asked if I was okay and how I was holding up. She got me resources in case the others fell through. Most of all she told me I was doing a good job. That meant a lot.

On the way home I got an overwhelming feeling that we were doing the right thing and I was not fighting in vain. I felt a weight off my shoulders as I realized there were many others out there to help my child. It felt special to feel the spirit as it was confirmed I was led in the right direction.

The OT at Primaries could see right away that Emme was a sensory seeker. There were a ton of new toys, but Emme was only interested for seconds before she was on to something new. I learned a lot during her eval and her OT even shared that she is also a sensory seeker. It was nice to hear from an adult what it feels like to have a sensory disorder.

So what does Emme feel like you ask? Well we are still learning as every child has different sensory problems, but so far we believe that Emme doesn't feel as strongly as others do therefore she is constantly seeking to fulfill her sensory needs. Thus, hypo sensitive kids are nicknamed sensory seekers. It is almost like Emme's balance, touch, and taste are always off so she is constantly working to get back on track i.e. grabbing, jumping, spinning, and eating everything.

It is unknown what causes sensory disorders, but I have learned we didn't do anything to cause it. Sometimes it just happens. Plus, it is what it is. There's no reason to dwell on the past while we are working to change her future.

We now see an occupational therapist through the early intervention school twice a month, and soon we will be seeing an occupational therapist through Primary Children's quite often. We are still waiting for our appointment through the Children's Center as they were booked out for months. I can't wait to learn from them and have heard amazing things. Emme has already changed from when we started and if anything I think Gregg and I understand her more which makes her a happier girl.

Emme is now awake from her nap so I am done for now, but I will keep updates about her therapy in the future if only for myself.

Our Busy Bee

By the time Emme could crawl she has been a mover and a shaker. We realized early on that she was busier than most kids. We didn't really worry because she was so little and some kids are just busier than others.

When she starting walking our lives turned into a constant chase. We baby proofed our house more and more as she grew, but going to others houses was usually pure chaos (still is) as they were not "Emme" proofed.

We read books on disciplining toddlers and very little stuck with her. It was almost like the choice was never hers to hold still or obey. She had this constant need to touch and put everything in her mouth. Her shirts were/are always soaked in drool and we sensed it had nothing to do with teeth. She's always been rough with other kids and animals and even herself. The list goes on and on.

It didn't take much for me to start feeling little impressions that Emme had some differences from most kids her age. I started to vocalize to other people to see if what Emme was doing was normal and the biggest answer I got was "that's a two year old for you." Most considered me a first time mom that didn't realize how hard raising a toddler is or one of those crazy moms that make up invisible sicknesses for their kids. Some were understanding, but knew as little as I did so we were at a loss together.

Eventually, bad turned to worse and there were some incidences that happened that I could no longer deny something was wrong. I called a friend whose son has ADHD. We had a long great talk and she discussed how I could get help. I called my pediatrician and I could tell the secretary thought I was absolutely NUTSO for thinking my two year had ADHD. They were THREE months booked out. I wanted to cry. Plus, I thought maybe I WAS crazy, maybe I just wasn't cut out to be a mom, maybe I wasn't trying hard enough to discipline her, maybe her pediatrician isn't going to believe me and think I'm the worst mom ever because I can't control my two year old. You get the idea. Doubt was my best friend and failure was my only thought.

One particular bad day Emme was completely out of control. Even though I was two steps behind her she was into everything and breaking whatever she could. I couldn't keep up with her. About the time she was ripping up my sheet music and I started to bawl. I could tell in Emme's eyes she couldn't control herself which made me bawl harder. I decided to take matters into my own hands. A friend had a daughter in an early intervention school as a non-delayed student and she had told me that a lot of kids there were like Emme. I got the phone number and called. The lady on the phone was the most nicest understanding person I've ever come across. I cried so hard I could barely get my words out. She was the first person to act like I wasn't a spazoid and was there to help. Someone could really help my child! There was hope. She was in the wrong school district so she got me all the info I needed, but told me she would help if Emme wasn't approved of early intervention services. I was an emotional wreck and embarrassed of my blubbery phone call so I waited until the next day to call the right school. I found out later that the lady I talked to cried for ten minutes after our phone call because she felt so bad for me. Either she literally is the nicest person ever or I was really that pathetic. I think it was both.

The next day I called the right school and a few days later someone called me to schedule an evaluation and go over my concerns. They were a few months booked out, but still sooner than my pediatrician so I felt I had gotten somewhere.

...Story continued another day...

**We love our little Emme. She is vibrant, happy, outgoing, funny, and just plain darling. We are blessed to have her and would never change a thing. I never want her to be known as a bad kid or for people to think that we aren't more than thrilled she is our little girl. Anyone who has met her can see how intelligent and amazing she is. This is not me complaining about her or venting my feelings as a mom. This is me telling our story so if others are experiencing what we are they know how to find help.

Emme is Two!

Whoa Nelly! It feels like just last month we were celebrating Emme's first birthday. Now we're pushing 2 1/2.  We love our blond little spit fire!  

 

We went to the planetarium with some friends on her birthday.  We frequent there often and Emme always squeals with delight when we pull up.

We had a family party a few days later.  My SIL helped me make this amazing cupcake cake.  It's no secret Emme and I love giraffes, so I couldn't wait to throw her a giraffe party.

Do you love the crayon on my table? 

These are the kind of poses we get nowadays.

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to."

Just some good ol' cousins "helping" open presents.

Emme was obsessed with these cars all summer.  It was a huge hit with the cousins as well.

Look at how blonde that girl is!

A Good Long Juicy Update

Hello, can anybody hear me? 

Yes, it's been forever since I have blogged.  So unlike me, but I have good excuses. First of all, our computer is old and useless and I hate using it.  Second of all, typing on it keeps Emme awake and she is stirring this very minute.  Thirdly, I've had writers block and needed a long break from sharing my thoughts and feelings.  Thank goodness it's a new year and hopefully a fresh start.  We have already spent the entire new year sick, but still have hope that 2013 will be a great year.

If there is anyone out there that still reads our blog SAAWEET, but if not I'm cool with doing things in vain.  :)

So here's our family update:

Gregg:  He is still working hard for our family, but feels that it is time to take on new adventures.  He will soon be applying to Grad schools and working on his Masters Degree.  We are going off pure faith right now, and not completely sure how long or what it will take for him to get into the program he wants.  We both feel it is right and have hope that doors will be opened.

Lacey:  I still work part time as a cosmetologist and enjoy it.  Health wise I have been doing well other than the yucky cold and sinus infection I've been fighting for the last two weeks.  Tis' the season.  My endo is under control, meaning due to BC  I have no pain right now.  I'm sure ya'll wanted to know.

Emme:  She is the most busy energetic outgoing two year old you will ever meet.  Oh wait...all two years are like that?  Dang. There may be a few hypo sensory issues going on with our little Emme that we are looking in to and hopefully will know more about it in the next few months. We love her to death anyway, but as my wise friend keeps reminding me we are in the trenches and one day will get through it.  Being two also has its fun perks and we constantly find ourselves laughing at her cute sayings.  She is talking full sentences and it's so fun to have short little conversations with her.  She always remembers names and if you name one person she will name everyone connected to them.  Including their animals.  She'll randomly bring up someone who we haven't seen or talked about in months and beg to go to their house.  She has no fear of anyone which is good and bad.  It doesn't matter if she's known you forever or for two seconds.  She will strike up a conversation.  She has been potty training for a few months, and picked it up right away.  We went a full week with no accidents and suddenly she stopped telling us she had to pee and the potty became not so cool.  She'll hold it for hours while we're out and about, but not even care while we're home.  Suggestions would be great...   

Adoption:  I'm sad to say it is going nowhere.  The end of 2012 was harder than the beginning which is saying something.  I can now admit out loud that it is just not the right time.  We're okay with it.  That doesn't mean I still don't ache for another great adoption story or another great addition to the family, but the timing is wrong.  With Emme being on the difficult side of toddlerism I can say we're not really baby hungry either.  We've needed a break from trying for baby #2.  Let's just say it would take a great miracle from above for that to be happening soon.  I'm talking part the red sea type miracle.  We've been working on baby number #2 since Emme was a few months old so I'm at peace with taking a break right now.  I always wanted my kids really close together because that's how I am with my siblings, but you can't always get what you want. 

Well, there you have it.  Have you missed me or what?  Let me include a picture as I know many just scroll through for that anyway.

Perfect Moments

I caught Emme playing the piano with my Cabbage Patch Doll that I had when I was a little girl. 

Failure to Conceive

Emme is 20 months old. It feels like she's always been here and yet time has flown by. She is still so smart and I love that I can understand most of what she says and wants. Just today she called a banana, banana instead of nana. It was bittersweet. She still adds a lot of jibber jabber in the mix too. I'll be sad the day she fully loses her baby talk.
With Emme being the age she is I have noticed people with kids her age are starting to get pregnant. I know Gregg and I would be too if we could. In fact in January 2011 I had a disappointing appointment with my doctor. The pain from my endometriosis was getting strong again despite being on birth control to help keep it at bay. I was told I needed to go on Lupron again and after it had calmed my endo we needed to go straight to infertility treatments to try and get pregnant. You see thats the best thing for endometriosis. I completely lost it in front of my doctor. He was very sweet and comforting but couldn't change the lot I've been given.
Emme was only about 4 months old at the time and a lot of my tears came from not having a long enough break from my endo/infertility and I didn't know if I could handle being on a crazy drug while being a new mom. Of course i want more kids and Emme to have siblings, but did I have to think about it so soon? I had the tender mercy while on it that although it was hard at times (ie. cyst bursting, shingles, and catching any sickness that came around because of my low immune system) I got through the emotions Lupron puts you through. It actually seemed better than the previous times crazytown wise.
The Lupron eventually wore off in July and we were able to start artificial inseminations in August. It didn't work that month and we had a strong feeling I needed to have a surgery to clear out the remaining endo to give us the best chance to get pregnant. After my laparoscopy my insides were the clearest they've been in years and years. We felt really good about our choice to continue AI's.
Month after month we were disappointed when each test came out negative. I can honestly say I still had hope after each failed attempt that we had a baby coming soon. I really felt we were doing the right thing. One month I even "felt" very pregnant and my due date would have been around Halloween. We talked about cute ways to tell our families one of which included telling everyone Emme was going as a big sister for Halloween this year. Sure enough the test came out negative and I realized it was probably just the Clomid making me feel pregnant. A cruel joke if you ask me.
We kept everything very private for multiple reasons. It was hard enough to tell Gregg I wasn't pregnant let alone anyone else. We also wanted to shock everyone with our news. Something we've always been jealous of others for.
The time came for our last AI. I still had hope. I could just see our Heavenly Father making us endure and granting our wish right at the end. Like always though the endo pain came right after ovulating and to our devastation the time came to test and it was yet again negative. Goodbye, hope.
It looked like our enduring was really only beginning.

Yo' Dude

What's up in our neck of the woods you ask? Survival of winter. Although it has been a very lax winter we are ready for warmth. I always wonder why we don't have a trip planned to somewhere tropical this time of year. I mostly blame the green stuff for that.

Poor Gregg had the Klondike campout with the scouts and loved freezing for two days. Have I mentioned that on top of 2nd counselor in the young men's Gregg is also scout master? Punishment for his teenage days let me tell ya.  I am also 2nd counselor in the young women's so we like to think of Tuesdays as date night.  Expect for the fact that we're separate most of the time and dinner consists of In and Out at nine at night.  Luckily the YW president's daughter has been taking Emme for us during mutual.  She comes into YW soon, so I'm not so sure how that's going to work out.  Suggestions at keeping a one year old busy during mutual?  Sundays are also hectic and I'm often told I look exhausted.  Not sure how to take that exactly other than "you look really bad today."  Good times.  Hopefully it doesn't sound too much like complaining.  I love the YW program, love the women I serve with, and love the girls.  I guess Gregg and I just feel a little like we're failing at our callings is what I'm trying to say.  We hang in there though.

Emme is her usual busy self.  I'm told by many people how active she is.  Gregg and I are pretty used to it and have the house Emme proofed for the most part.  It's not easy when she's let free at new places, but she is really good to ride in her stroller in the mall or cart at the store.  For how energetic she is, she doesn't mind being strapped down like a lot of kids do.  I think she's a normal 1 1/2yr old and the calm relaxed ones are the odd ones.  :)  Her new love is climbing.  I'm actually glad she can climb now because I don't worry so much about her on things, as she can now get down by herself.  It's still not unusual for her to take the crash landing route once in a while.  She still puts everything in her mouth and loves to eat paper.  Her newest thing is to reach into the fireplace and grab pellets and sneak them in her mouth.  I can't get her to eat certain foods, but she'll eat ash.  I don't get it.  She loves to talk on the phone and will give a big MUAH to who's ever on the other line.  She's a little cuddle bug and gives the tightest squeezes before bed.  She loves her daddy and screams with delight when he gets home from work.  I love that she is understanding us more and more and learns a new word almost every day.  She's our smarty pants.  I wouldn't have her any other way than our zippy, ash eating, Emme.

We're all looking forward to March.  St. George, Beauty and The Beast on Broadway, and family coming for the Hunger Games premiere are all on the list.  Bring on Spring!  

One Year

Our little miracle is ONE!! Well, actually she is close to 15months now, but holy cow! The time spent around her birthday had us thinking a lot about the year before. The whole experience almost feels like a dream now. Words can't express the love we have for her and for her birth family.

At her one year check up she was
30 in long or 75%
21lbs 6oz or 55%
Head was 10%

Now on to bragging and mentioning some things I want to remember.  Everywhere we go people comment how smart she is.  They always guess she is a lot older than she is.  Even her pediatrician is always amazed by her vocabulary and motor skills. She has been mimicking words from about 9 months.  None of the credit goes to us by any means.  She is just one smart cookie.  Maybe everyone feels this way about their first baby though.  Her favorite toy by far is books.  She would sit in my lap and read all day.  She has an alphabet train and she has brought me the c for car and v for van and said "car? car?".  She has also brought me the m for monkey and did her arms like a monkey and made the sound they make.   She will copy every word we give her {in fact she never stops jabbering}, but some of her favorites are: pompa (grandpa my dad), papa (Gregg's dad), baby, push, owl, dog, Grant, no no, yes, ya, cow, moo, roar for lion and dinosaur,car, ball, and of course mom and dad.  She makes the sound of many animals and sometimes only needs to hear it once.  I can ask her to find something in one of her books and she will flip to the right page and point to it.  She's even figured out how to push the button on my iPhone and slide to unlock it.  Along with having such a busy mind makes for a busy kid.  She never slows down except to read books and still puts everything in her mouth and I mean EVERYTHING.  Even in an empty room she will find something to do.  Whether it be pulling off dry wall or finding the tiniest speck to taste.  Luckily she sleeps like a champ and loves to go nye nye (night night). That is a big help so Gregg and I can refresh for the next day.  My favorite thing is how cuddly she is.  She gives the best loves and kisses around.  I never mind having drool smeared on my face if that means I get a smooch from her.  I will admit that we snuggle her a lot and give her maybe too many squeezes, but we just can't resist her.  Gregg even made up the phrase, "I've got the squeezies."  Meaning when Emme does something cute and you grit your teeth because you want to squeeze her so bad.  And yes, just looking at these pictures gives me the squeezies.  We love that emme memmer moo of ours. 

My favorite picture.  No fancy bows, background, or clothes needed.  Just Emme in her purest form.

Birthday Under The Sea

On Emmer's real birthday we both took the day off so we could take her to The Living Planet Aquarium.  Gregg's dad has an aquarium and it's the first thing she runs to every time we visit them.  She normally calls fish "Pi", but occasionally will say "Fi".  So we thought it would be fun for her to see the BIG aquariums.  She loved it and not once did she get bored.  Looks like we have a winter activity for her to get some energy out. 

Can You Tell Me How To Get, How To Get To....

 Ses"Emme" Street?
       -Brought to you by the Letter E and Number 1

We do first birthday's big around here, so for Emme's third and final birthday party we spent it at our house. We decorated Ses"emme" to the max although I only took pictures of some of it for some reason. It's always more stressful to be the host and I don't always get to take the pictures I want. We had a blast though and everything turned out great.

The dessert area.

Emme's birth aunt drew this picture.  Talk about amazing!

Big Bird, Elmo, and Cookie Monster showed the way to the party.

Thanks to Gregg's cousin for making her cake.  For the record I did do most of Elmo.  :)

These are my beloved cousins whom I lived with for a while when I first moved to Utah.  Emme is making what we call "turtle face".  She makes it when she feels awkward.  She made it a lot at her party because of all the attention she was getting.  So funny.

Turtle Face

Total Pro at this cake stuff now.

I love K's face as she's laughing at Emme.

PAPER!!!!

Cue turtle face.  I didn't realize how many times she did it until I did this post.