Dooms Day

The upcoming holiday happens to be my LEAST favorite day of the year....MOTHER'S DAY.  Last year I  awoke as normal only to check my facebook on my phone while Gregg was still asleep.  Everyone's status said something about mothers (why shouldn't it, it's mother's day) and I immediately was filled with dread of getting through the day.  Tears filled my eyes and there they stayed ready to take action at a moments notice.  Once Gregg began to stir I announced I just couldn't make it to church that day.  The thought of Mothers waiting around after sacrament for their flowers was enough to make me puke.  Not because they are mothers, but because I don't belong in this category.  Gregg being the understanding husband he is, said no problem.  It's rough having a holiday that pierces and reminds you to the core of the trial you have been enduring for years. 

Here we are, another year that I still don't belong in this category.  This year I've tried to be smart and plan ahead.  Even though Gregg and I work Saturday, we are heading to Idaho to be with my family.  That way it's an easy way to get out of going to my own ward.  In fact it's an easy way not to have to go to church at all!  My Plan...FOOL PROOF.  UNTIL...one of my very good friends last week after church asked what I was doing next Sunday.  NOT going to church, I replied.  She told me how a few months before she had a feeling that she needed to challenge me to attend church on Mother's Day, but she was just now getting around to telling me about it.  On cue I started crying, telling her I just couldn't do it.  She said YES you can, you are tough, Lacey and you can do it.  She said what if this is your only test left being childless and you fail?  She's very persuasive and also RIGHT.  I AM tough.  I hear girls talk about pregnancy and babies all day long.  I CAN do this.  I CAN DO HARD THINGS.  Isn't that what I've been preaching to my young women all year?  So, I'm announcing to the public so I don't back out, that I will be attending church with my mother on Sunday.  In my home ward nonetheless.  I'll report back next week to let everyone know how it goes. 

In other news, I have learned this year that the Saturday before Mother's Day is BIRTH MOTHER'S DAY.  Now THAT I can celebrate.  Birth mom's are truly some of the best mom's out there.  The fact that they have sacrificed so much to do what's best for their babies is truly awe inspiring.  So, HAPPY BIRTH MOTHER'S DAY to all those wonderful women.  I know one day Gregg and I will be forever indebted.