Did you just not want to get pregnant?
REALLY!?! Believe it or not, this is an actual question word for word that I have been asked more than once. From the sound of it, pregnancy does do weird things to your body and I've heard can be very uncomfortable and at times miserable, but this question is appalling in more than one way.
First-Maybe I come off as a selfish person, but my body is not perfect to begin with. I'm not the type of person that feels the need to dodge the adventures of pregnancy just to maintain my, not so great to begin with, figure.
Second-They're suggesting I took the "easy way" out. um...REALLY!?!...puuuleease. They weren't there for the surgeries, nine months of missing a very important hormone, crying till I was dry, pleading in prayers for this trial to be over, watching people have one, two, three kids while my home was still empty, more dr.'s appts, church lessons of how being a mother is the most important role we can have, more crying, other dumb questions from ignorant people, paper work, paper work, paper work, waiting, more waiting, and more waiting, classes, house checks, interviews, background checks, more waiting... Man, I could go on all day.
Third-How is it fair to a birth mother that I just decide pregnancy is not for me so could they please hand over their baby? I mean come on...REALLY!?!
Hopefully you're getting my point. I'm sure there are cases that people do choose to adopt over pregnancy, but I'm guessing 99% of people try to conceive before they realize adoption is the path they are meant to take. I'm getting fired up just thinking about it again. I am very happy with the way Emme came to us. If I knew the ending from the beginning, I'm sure there would have been a few less tears. That's not how it works though. Gregg and I have been through some tough times that have made us stronger and I KNOW better parents. Adoption was our answer after years of questions, but to just assume we've been through nothing and think we just thought one day "hey, don't you think we should just skip pregnancy and add a year or two to having a baby?" "um yeah, that's sounds fantastic!" REALLY!?! Let's think these things through, before we ask idiotic questions. That goes with most things. Let's all make an effort to put ourselves in others shoes before we open our mouths. I will also do this. !REALLY!
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4 comments:
Dude, some people are so freaking ignorant!!!!!!!!! I witnessed first-hand the hell that you two had to go through to get your sweetheart. Just remember that some people literally are dumb. The smart ones love you and respect the extreme patience that you had during your trial. This post made me so angry and it made me cry to read your story again.
Some people are really just that stupid I guess. Really? they apparently don't know you very well at all! Emmie is Beautiful I was so excited I got to meet her and hear all about her story you and greg and truely amazing what you went through is way harder than being pregnant anyday so you just tell people that! I love the lady bug costumes they are totally awesome!
Man...the nerve! Who would actually say that to someone! Those are the type of people who, personally, I think are selfish. They obviously didn't give a second though as to why you would have adopted. Come to think of it, I would have NEVER thought of that questions. I didn't even know that questions existed when it came to adopting. Wow...I must be an Alexander because now I'm getting heated. It's like you go through a trial, just to find another one. I'm sorry people can be so ignorant and have the nerve to even consider asking a question like that.
I totally relate...especially to #2!!
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